Learning to love sex 3

I suppose I used to think that my life would be simple. I thought I would meet a nice boy one day, bring him home to introduce him to my f****y, and then get married. Sex didn't really come into my calculations at all. I had always been taught that sex was something you did after you got married. Suddenly, I find myself with two boyfriends, sex, and still no marriage. I don't know what I'm going to do. Things are a lot more complicated than I thought they were going to be. You see, the two boys are very different and I like them both but not in the same way. Carlo, who was my first real boyfriend, and who I met again last weekend, has been making love to me for over a week now. I think I am in love with him. Or, at least, I think I do when I make love with him. Whenever I get the chance - despite having to study for my nursing examinations - I try to sneak out of the house to see him. Three times in the last seven days! I went swimming with him on Tuesday evening at a private pool he has access to (I think he knows the security guards). It was very romantic being in the pool after dark with him, and I guess he could tell that I was eager for him. So, after we'd finished our dip, he came into the ladies changing rooms with me. It didn't last very long, but I really enjoyed the feeling of being wanted. He pulled down my bikini bottoms hungrily, as if it was really our first time, and fucked me up against the wall of the shower. Then, on Thursday and Friday, he took me back to the house that his parents rent out as a holiday home. The atmosphere was very different, especially on the second time with him there. I cooked him a meal and it felt almost as if we were married and already established in our own home. That's how I allowed myself to think. A mistake, I suppose. By the time we made love, I felt really close to him. He had his hand down my knickers gently massaging me down there and I was wetting both my panties and the bed, but he didn't seem to mind. I thought he might be annoyed that I was getting the house messed up. And it was then that I started whispering how much I loved him. Over and over again, like an incantation I said it. With every thrust of his penis, with every kiss under my arms, with every squeeze of my bottom, I came out with it involuntarily. "I love you, Carlo", and then again as his penis reached the very top again, "....Oh God, I love you Carlo". I expected him to reply, telling me how much he loved me. Nothing came. But that is what I wanted: a word, just a word from him to reassure me. So, just when I thought this was the man for me, I started having second thoughts. I wanted sex to be gentle and romantic, not hungry and hurried and rough. Yet, although I've arranged to start dating Edmund again (partly on the advice of a friend), I don't think I'll be able to stop seeing Carlo. You see, Edmond is very shy and quiet, so different from Carlo. Yet I know he likes me. He's not gay, as some of the girls in the village have cruelly told me. A friend had advised me to take the lead with Ed. This is a new experience for me. My friend had said that I should unfasten his trousers and take his cock out. They are a very naughty friend of mine, and had said that I should practice beforehand with a soda bottle, shaking it up to feel what an eruption from a man's cock feels like when it cums in the mouth. And, feeling sexually aroused, that is just what I did with bottle of fizzy drink. It ended up with it in my hair and down the front of my t-shirt! I'm seeing Ed after work tomorrow night, so I'll let you know how I get on. (to be continued)